You’ve probably seen this happen.
A smart, capable person presents a gnarly problem. They’ve “tried everything.” They’ve consulted friends. They’ve held brainstorming sessions. They’ve even posted on Reddit. And yet—they remain stuck.
But here’s the frustrating part: everyone around them sees the solution. It’s sitting right there. And they’ve been told. Repeatedly.
So why aren’t they doing it?
Intractable Problems Aren’t What You Think
Most problems we label “intractable” aren’t actually unsolvable. They just require giving up something we’re emotionally attached to.
A core assumption.
A beloved strategy.
A sense of identity.
The moment a solution requires abandoning one of these things, our brain doesn’t just ignore it—it actively resists it.
It doesn’t feel like resistance. It feels like logic. “That wouldn’t work because…” “We tried that before…” “That’s not who we are.”
But under the hood, there’s something deeper going on: the cost of being wrong about a core belief is just too high.
Case Study: The Business Model You Love
Let’s make this real.
You’re building a company. The numbers aren’t adding up. Growth is stalling. Customers are confused.
Everyone on your team is gently suggesting the same thing: your pricing model doesn’t make sense. Or maybe your target market is misaligned. Or the product is solving the wrong problem.
You’ve heard it before. But you’re holding onto the original vision. Because you know it can work. Because you’ve poured months—years—into building around that assumption.
And so, the real problem isn’t the problem.
The real problem is what solving it would cost you.
The Mental Model: Problem vs. Premise
Here’s a helpful way to reframe it:
- The Problem: What you say is wrong. (“People aren’t converting.” “I’m not making progress.”)
- The Premise: What you believe has to be true for your current strategy to work. (“This market is ready.” “This feature is essential.” “This business model is viable.”)
When your solutions aren’t working, it’s usually because the problem isn’t actually a problem—it’s the premise that’s broken.
But examining the premise feels scary. Because it usually leads to an uncomfortable conclusion:
“If that assumption isn’t true… then everything I built on top of it might need to change.”
Why We Don’t Let Go
A few psychological reasons we cling to faulty premises:
1. Sunk Cost Fallacy
You’ve already invested so much time and energy into this path. Letting go now feels like admitting it was all a waste. So you double down. You keep tweaking the edges, hoping for a breakthrough that won’t come.
2. Identity Attachment
You don’t just do this thing—you are this thing. “I’m a technical founder.” “I’m a premium brand.” “We’re a freemium company.” Shifting strategies feels like abandoning your identity, not just a tactic.
3. Fear of Uncertainty
At least the current pain is familiar. Letting go means stepping into unknown territory. That’s scarier than staying stuck, even if staying stuck guarantees more pain.
Spotting the Pattern in Others
It’s always easier to see this in someone else.
You watch a friend in a toxic relationship, refusing to leave because “it’s complicated.” You see a company clinging to a dying product because “we just need better marketing.” You witness a team arguing over tactics when the strategy itself is clearly flawed.
The solution is visible. But they can’t—or won’t—see it.
How to Break the Pattern (Without Getting Defensive)
When you’re the one in the spiral, here are a few practical strategies:
1. Ask “What Would I Do If I Were Starting From Scratch?”
This bypasses your attachment to what already exists and lets you explore the most logical solution without sunk cost bias.
2. Write the Opposite of Your Core Assumption
For example:
Assumption: “Our enterprise pricing model is what makes us different.”
Inversion: “Our pricing model is actually repelling our best customers.”
What happens if you assume the opposite is true? What starts to make more sense?
3. Find Someone Who Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings
You need at least one person in your life who’s not emotionally invested in your current plan. Someone who will just tell you the truth. And when they say the uncomfortable thing—you need to sit with it.
4. Build an Anti-Roadmap
List out the things you refuse to change. Now ask: What if those are exactly the things holding us back?
Often, the constraints we think are “strategic” are just self-imposed cages.
A Note for Leaders
If you manage a team, this dynamic shows up all the time. The “intractable problem” is rarely technical—it’s human. It’s someone refusing to question their premise.
Your job is to gently surface that resistance without shaming it. To create an environment where people can say:
“Maybe we were wrong about this…”
That’s where real change begins.
Final Thought
When someone refuses to hear the obvious answer, it’s not that they’re being irrational.
They’re protecting something sacred—an identity, a belief, a dream.
But the longer you cling to a flawed premise, the more painful it becomes to let go.
So if you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself:
What might I be refusing to see… because seeing it would mean letting go of something I’ve come to love?
Sometimes the answer isn’t hard to find.
It’s just hard to accept.