Would a Stranger Believe You?
Let’s run a simple thought experiment.
Imagine someone followed you around for seven days—no commentary, no editing, just silent observation. They saw your schedule. Your calendar. What you did after dinner. How you spent your weekends. Every tap of your phone. Every Slack message. Every browser tab.
Now, ask yourself this:
Would they believe you're serious about the goals you say you have?
Not hopeful. Not inspired. Not interested.
Serious.
The Goals We Say vs. the Life We Live
Most people don’t lie about their goals—they just quietly make promises their behavior never intends to keep.
- They say they want to write a book, but never block time to write.
- They say they want to change careers, but never update their resume.
- They say they want to get healthy, but treat sleep as optional and breakfast as a suggestion.
None of these are bad people. But they’re caught in the most insidious trap of all: confusing intention with commitment.
The Brutal Honesty of Behavior
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Behavior is the most honest signal of belief.
Not words. Not plans. Not Trello boards or vision decks or goal-setting templates.
Behavior.
If you say you're committed to something, but your week looks no different than someone who doesn’t care at all… you’re not committed. You’re cosplaying commitment.
The External Observer Test
This is one of my favorite self-checks. I call it the External Observer Test:
- Pick one of your “big goals.”
- Watch your past 7 days like a documentary.
- Ask: Would a neutral observer—no context, no bias—come away thinking that goal mattered to you?
If the answer is no, you don’t need more productivity hacks. You need an alignment adjustment.
The Three Misalignments That Derail Us
Most people fail the test for one of three reasons:
1. Misalignment Between Goal and Time
They say the goal matters. But look at their calendar, and it's nowhere to be found.
If it’s not on your calendar, it’s not a priority. Full stop.
2. Misalignment Between Goal and Energy
They put the goal at the end of the day, after they’re already mentally spent.
“I’ll work on the startup after dinner.” No, you won’t. You’ll scroll. You’ll snack. You’ll “research competitors” on LinkedIn for 40 minutes.
Goals need prime time, not leftover time.
3. Misalignment Between Goal and Identity
They want the outcome, but haven’t accepted the identity.
They want to be “fit” but don’t think of themselves as someone who trains.
They want to be a “writer” but never call themselves one.
Until your identity matches the behavior your goal demands, you’ll always feel like an imposter in your own plan.
How to Fix It
Let’s make this practical. Here’s how to realign your behavior with your ambition.
Step 1: Audit the Evidence
For one week, track your time brutally honestly. No rounding. No justification.
Then compare:
- What you say your priorities are
- What your schedule says your priorities are
The delta between those two is where your goals go to die.
Step 2: Set "Public Standards"
Private goals are easier to ignore. Raise the stakes.
- Tell your team you’re working on X by Friday.
- Share your launch date publicly.
- Get an accountability partner.
Shame is a terrible long-term motivator, but social commitment? That’s rocket fuel.
Step 3: Build Goal-First Routines
Don’t fit your goals around your life. Build your life around your goals.
Examples:
- Want to write a book? Block 90 minutes every morning, before email.
- Training for a marathon? Book your runs like meetings—non-negotiable.
- Launching a business? Give it the first and best two hours of your weekend.
Don’t “try to make time.” Make it. Guard it. Defend it like your future depends on it. (It does.)
What Serious Looks Like
Serious is boring. It's repetitive. It’s not the motivational YouTube video—it’s the Tuesday night where you work on your thing instead of watching Netflix.
It’s the gym session no one saw. The draft that never gets published. The silent hour where no one’s cheering you on.
But it adds up.
Because seriousness compounds.
Final Question
So, here’s the real question:
If someone watched your life this week—without context, without assumptions—would they believe you’re serious?
If the answer is no, don’t beat yourself up. But do something about it.
Change your schedule. Change your environment. Change the story you tell with your actions.
You don’t have to prove it to anyone else.
Just act like someone is watching.
Because the person who is… is you.